I don't know how or when it happened.
In high school, college, and most of my married life; I was a joiner.
I joined IN...
I loved to go to social gatherings, meetings, church events, parties, dinner at friends' or our home. I loved to be part of whatever was going on in the community.
And, then a few years ago, I wanted to be left ALONE.
Be by myself.
Be sort of anonymous.
It all seems rather strange from what I was previously......
But, I'm reading letters to my parents that were written by me over 23 years of raising children....and in almost EVERY letter I proclaim how B.U.S.Y. life is!
How hectic our schedule, how involved with church, school, community each of the 7 of us was.
So, maybe, just maybe, I got burned out.
I don't know.
But, I've definitely changed in my very soul - in my very being.
And, truthfully, it sort of scares me because it's not good to lose sociability...which I haven't yet, but it is true, that I'm content most of the time, to be solitary. I'm grateful for RAH, of course. And he fulfills my social needs very well. We have a good time together.
My neighbor, DC, does not like to be alone. Her daughter and grandchildren live close by and they do everything together: shopping, vacations, trips, movies, eating out, swimming, etc. She is always with her family. And, it does make me a bit jealous because none of my family lives close by...I yearn for connection to family.
BUT, having said that, I still do like my space.
I hope that's not wrong or unhealthy.
Someday, I'll probably regret my solitary ways...but for now, I like the way life is. I am busy, productive, serve in the church....
And, it suits me!
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