Sorrow That the Eye Can't See

Sometimes life is painful.

Sometimes life hurts.

Sometimes there is a pit in my stomach the size of texas.

Sometimes even music does not soothe.

S.o.r.r.o.w.

Stay away.

Dear Mom

The table is set:

with your dinnerware

your silverware

your goblets

your candlestick holders; maybe even your candles.

Everything looks so beautiful.

But, I feel such a sense of sadness, because I never asked you:

about the dinnerware: it is so unique - where did it come from, how did you get it?

about the silverware: was it something you bought on one of your many foreign adventures?

about the goblets: they are so beautiful – where did they come from, how did you get them?

Oh, my dear dear mother – I had my chance, and so many opportunities.

I'll eat this meal with friends tonight, but I will be thinking of you. And, I'll be remembering ALL the many, many wonderful feasts we ate at your beautiful and bounteous table.

My food won't be as tasty; as plentiful; as copious; as flavorful, as nourishing, as colorful and beautiful; nothing quite ever is.

Thank you dear, Mom, for the gift of beauty! I love you.

From the Past- the three T's

"Whatever you do, don't speak about:

Tiananmen,
Tibet,
Taiwan,"

they said.

Okay, so here I am in T....Square - October 2010.

But, I didn't speak about it!

The Prayer

We recognize we have so many blessings;

wonderful family
good, kind friends
a beautiful home
vehicles that work
mobility
eyesight
hearing
health
income – small, but adequate and reliable

In spite of challenges in our lives, our hearts continually overflow with gratitude.

What's for Breakfast

Fruit Smoothie:
banana
spinach
berries
apple from tree in backyard
yogurt
orange juice

Piece of Wholewheat toast with natural peanut butter

Eaten on the back patio

Perfect start to each day!

When a Friend Dies

She was acerbic, biting, often cruel, always honest.

She had alienated herself from her entire family of five children.

Her husband had left her many years before I met her.

She had little tolerance for shortcomings or mediocrity in others.

In fact, she often had little tolerance for others at all.

And, yet, surpisingly, we got along famously.

She always made me laugh.

She always astounded me with her amazing memory of people, places, history, poetry, names, events, her life.

She lived on a very limited income, yet to her few choice friends, she was very very generous.

Her home was always immaculate...her fridge often nearly empty, reflecting her financial situation.

She adored chocolate, Barbara Cartland novels, and bumbleberry pie from Deseret Book Store in Idaho.

I have missed her over the years.

And, now I will miss her even more....

Margarita Ybarris Slade Emery - I know where you are and what you are doing; you are leading one amazing choir up in Heaven. You are ordering around the angels and demanding they eat their vegetables. And, you are making - the ones who understand you - have a good hearty laugh.

I will miss you, dear dear friend.

To Keep or Throw Away...

that is the eternal question...

Oh, it is so HARD to part with "things."

But, who will want to sift through all the stuff?

Not anyone I know.

Who will want any of the stuff?

Not anyone I know.

Who will be upset that we kept all this stuff?

Everyone I know.

But, it's still hard to throw it out.

I'll try again another day.

Frustration Is.....

Trying to find lost items after being packed away for a year:

1. car keys
2. several books of forever stamps
3. hangers
4. nylons for church
5. pair of scissors
6. hidden money (I'm not sure there is any, but there MUST be some somewhere!)

Should We or Shouldn't We...

get a new used car?
ours works fine; has lots of miles, is adequate and the insurance rates are reasonable.

get a new camper/trailer?
would we use it enough to justify the high cost?

get a new pickup?
ours works great, but is a gasaholic. do we need a new one, though?

get a new lens for Allen's new camera?
would he use it enough to justify the high price tag of a zoom lens? It's a fun hobby for him.

buy a BOX of SEE'S dark chocolate?
ABSOLUTELY!

One Year Later...

The house was clean; there was freshly baked food in the fridge, and my beloved pillow felt mighty good indeed.

Thanks, Jenni and Janessa for the great welcome. Thanks to the other neighbors/friends who gave us a hearty welcome.

It's good to be home.