Death of a Personality

When Bill and Barbara moved in, they were both heavy drinkers and smokers.

Which was fine; just different in our neighborhood.

But, they were the best neighbors we've ever had.

When Bill cooked too much food, he brought us some plates of food, or some of his wonderful pea soup.  When the Bountiful Basket orders came, Barbara always bought us some fruits and vegetables saying they could never eat all of it.

Barbara sent cards for birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, thank you, etc.

She gave me all her magazines, of which she took quite a few.

She would call if she saw our lights left on, or when we got home, she'd call to say welcome back.  She'd call to see if we were home and wonder if things were alright because she hadn't seen us for a few days.

She gave us some gifts, a shirt, a robe, a blanket because I was always cold.  Her thoughtfulness was just incredible, truly.

Bill would offer to help with any project Allen was working on...Allen didn't use his help, but he always offered.

They had four little dogs and my granddaughters from Virginia loved to go visit Bill and Barbara and see those dogs.

Eventually, they both stopped smoking and Bill has totally stopped drinking.  Sad to say, all their dogs are now gone, and Barbara misses them dearly as they slept on her bed each night.

But, sadder still; Barbara has dementia....no more cards, letters, calls.  No more quick visits to say hello or bring something by.  No more phone calls to check on us.

No more Barbara as we once knew her.

I don't care about the food, the gifts, the cards, or the calls.

But, I do care that she is not the same person she used to be.

And, that is just hard to see.

Her body is there, but not the personality I once knew....

so, I will be grateful and remember the way she used to be, before the illness robbed her of who she really is.