The Prayer Answered....Not As I Expected

Her lesson two weeks ago was wonderful, inspiring, and motivating.

It was taken from a conference talk entitled;

What Lack I Yet?

We were challenged to go home and to make that our prayer...

I did so...hesitatingly.

My answer was not what I expected or imagined or wanted.

I was called to be the leader of the Bear Den (see previous post!)

So, I guess I'm lacking enough Scout experience!!!!!!!!!  Ha ha.....

I've been humbled.

Gotta work hard in this calling.

Because there is a message in here somewhere that I need to learn.

The Murmurer

It was at Pack Night a few nights ago.

The Cub Master had a big huge picture of the Grinch at the front....

She had asked kids to write how to make the Grinch smile...they had written many ideas and posted them on the green painted Grinch.

After she read a few them Andrea said, "When you think of people who murmer, who do you immediately think of," many children responded...."Laman and Lemuel."

Not MOI: I thought of Moi, ME, Loni, Sister Hackworth!

It was all so very ironic that she had posed THAT question, THAT night.

For you see, I had just spent the last two or more hours murmuring.

On Sunday, the Bishop called me to be a Bear Den Leader.  Of course, I said, YES, kicking and screaming inside all the way.

Then on Thursday, when it was actually Pack Night, I murmered in my head for an entire day and particularly for the two hours before the event.

"I'm too old for this!'

"I don't even like boys this age!"

"I've never been a fan of Scouts!"

"I don't know why they would call an old lady for a young person's job!"

"Why don't they ask a mother who has a kid this age?"

"Doesn't the Bishop understand we are leaving for the entire summer, so I will only be here for a few months?"

"WHY DID HE CALL ME?"

So, here I was;

the MURMURING ONE!

I was embarrassed even though no one knew my thoughts.  I was embarrassed at myself, before God, and why I would be such a murmurer....

Now, here's the really sad thing.  Next week, when Thursday - Bear meeting - rolls around, I'll probably be murmuring once again.

So, step aside, Laman and Lemuel, you've got company....dang it!

Feeling Hungry....

Once again, I find myself trying to lose "just a few more pounds!"

One of my goals is to not eat after 7 at night.

That's a challenge.

Like - every Monday for FHE - we meet at 6, have our meeting, then refreshments.  I'm not usually tempted, but I was last night; crackers, cheese, nuts, fruit, etc.  But it was after 7.

So, I normally go to bed HUNGRY.

During the day, since I'm trying to eat better and less,

I'm HUNGRY.

It's the new norm.

I don't mean to complain or to compare myself in any way to people in third world countries who are starving....that is not me.

But food surrounds me, and I'm not eating it.

It's so tempting....like last night.

I'll keep trying, even though I don't see results.

In the meantime, I'll chew gum, snack on celery, and read a good book or work on family history.

Good plan.  (Not entirely successful, but worth trying at any rate!)

The Devil Made Me NOT Do It!

For the last couple of years, I've had a sort-of unwritten, unspoken goal in my head;

To go to the temple twice a month - once every other week.

Should be very easy, right?

But, so many weeks, Satan steps right up in my head and says things like:

It's raining, can't go on a rainy day.

It's really sunny, you need to work outside instead.

The floors need sweeping, better stay home and clean them.

It's windy, don't want to get your hair messed up, do you?

You need to exercise.

Better stay home and do family history.

Hey, don't you need to...........and the list goes on and on.

I'm always glad when I go.

I'm always glad to get Satan out of my head and do the right thing.

And, today, I did just that.

The Sunday Visits

Three Visits;

Two heartwarming, one sorrowful.

RAH and I love to visit Dr. Howe.  He has such great stories to tell and he has a wonderful memory about his youth.

I asked him to share a Christmas memory from his childhood growing up on a farm.  Two days before Christmas, his family went shopping in town where he and his brothers saw a Flexible Flyer (sled) in a store window.  They so badly wanted that sled, but it had a big SOLD sign on it...which caused them a great deal of disappointment.  Imagine their surprise on Christmas morning, when they were the ones who got that SOLD sled - they had hours of fun on that sled, so it was great memory for John indeed and a fun story for us.

DC had struggled with some relationships in her ward, particularly after a lady came to her home and accused her of being dishonest.  After that, it was hard for DC to even go to Relief Society.  But, as she is serving a local mission, she felt like she needed to clean her inner vessel.  So, she said, "This is my problem....I need to not let this bother me any more."  She said one day, the bitter , sad feelings were just no longer there.  She, once again, loves being with the sisters and being in Relief Society.  WOW, inspiring.

Visiting with JM was sorrowful; it brought tears to her eyes as she told me her complex story.  She married in the temple, had two wonderful children, but along the way, her husband developed addictions....he no longer wanted to attend church, be a part of the family, contribute to the well-being of the family.  He has just isolated himself from his wonderful wife, son, and daughter. JM is going to school so that she can take care of her family.  It was a sad story, but she looked me in the eye and said, "You are the first person to even ask me my situation.  No one else has even shown an interest."

Why are we so indifferent to the sorrows and cares of others?!?!??!

I do love the Sunday visits, even if some are sorrowful....

EVERYONE has a story to tell.

And, I love to hear them.

Familysearch.org....

a Love/Despair Relationship!

First of all, I love familysearch.org.

But, it can be so incredibly frustrating....

take this as an example:

Totally erroneous....Dorothy Elizabeth South is NOT the mother of Sharon Tidwell; she was divorced from Frank Alton at the time of Sharon's birth.

It is things like this that leave people frustrated and just wanting to give in and give up!

People come in and change the records and it's just so frustrating.....I recently decided to not even worry about making changes or combing.

I'll just add pictures and let that be my contribution to Familysearch.org...

Time to Give An Accounting!

Goals for 2015:

No French fries.....achieved.
Continue to keep gas tank filled up at 1/2; achieved.
Scriptures every day; achieved, even if only a verse or two, I did it.

Goals for 2014:

Keep gas at 1/2....achieved (Mostly, if it didn't happen, it was because Allen was driving and in     charge, but when I was driving, I did it.)
Scriptures Every day; I am pretty sure I achieved this.

Goals for 2013:

Try a new recipe once a week...failed big time!  Didn't make it much past March on that one.
Scriptures every day...missed a day in March; felt like it was a total failure, but then I kept reading and am quite sure I achieved it....

So, now, it's a new year...what's on tap for this year?!?!?!??!

GOALS FOR 2016:

1.  Keep gas at 1/2 - a continuation....

2.  Scriptures daily - a continuation....

3.  Have desk cleared off each evening.... (inspired by James Clarke, a former student, and winner of one of Utah's top business men of the year....he asks that of his employees...it seems like a good thing to come to a clean desk each morning.)

4.  Lose 10 pounds....this will be so hard; I've been trying and I just can't do it....so, that means I must cut back on sweets.

5.  Not buy soda for me.  I will take a drink of Allen's occasionally, if we are eating out together, but I won't be buying any for me.

6.  Most importantly, MAKE MY PRAYERS MORE MEANINGFUL, PERSONAL, AND CONNECTIVE.

And, there you have it.

Let's hear it for NEW YEARS!