Helping or Hindering Hands

I see it on our mission a lot:

when you help people, sometimes they come to expect it and rely on it.

For example, one day an older homeless person came in and as he was leaving, Allen slipped him a twenty dollar bill.  The next day the gentleman came back, but he wouldn't talk to anyone except Allen.....and it was pretty obvious why.

Sister Johnson told me an interesting story about when she was RS president.  A new mother needed help, so Sister Johnson went to help her....she arrived about 9 and at 10 the woman's husband came home from class.  He sat on the couch eating potato chips and watching television while Sister Johnson tended 2 small children, did the dishes, fixed lunch, and did the laundry.  She was so disgusted that the man didn't raise a hand to help.

Shauna told me about a young mother who was desperate for food for her family.  Shauna told her she would get the family a food order.  The lady didn't want anything to do with a food order.  She wanted McDonald's or nothing....too much work, she told Shauna.

Some of the people who come to see the transient bishop feel almost ENTITLED for help and some leave angry when help is not provided in just the way they want.

So, there is a fine line between helping and actually hurting.  Between giving a boost and coming to rely on that help.

I have had maids clean my home three times in the past; now, I don't want to do it.  I LIKED having them do the work.  So, I understand that people come to rely on help.  We cannot afford to hire maids, so they have not done it for many months, (we did it to help a person out!), but I can see how easy it would be to turn over the work to someone else while I do my own thing.  So, I totally understand.

But, I think it's important to say: are we helping or hindering?

Are we making them more dependent or helping them in a temporary setting to become more self-reliant and independent.  Because that is really what our goal should always be.