Words I've Eaten Over the Years

It usually starts with; I'd NEVER.....

and, then, of course, I end up doing, buying, having whatever it was I swore I'd NEVER do/buy/have.

Here are a few words I've had to choke down as a parent:

Before having a toddler:
I would NEVER let a toddler of mine behave like that in church...look at her, she's actually not even staying in her chair for the entire meeting.

After having a toddler of my own:
Okay, RAH, it's your turn to go get Randi off the stand and get her to quit pounding on the organ - I've done it the last 3 times!

Before having a teenager:
What kind of mother lets her child come to school dressed like that? No child of mine would EVER dress that way?

After having a teenager:
Okay, if you insist on wearing THAT to school, just don't sign your last name to anything, and then maybe no one will know you're mine.

Before having a grandchild:
What grandparent would be seen in public with a beautiful girl who has a little teeny tattoo of a flower on her ankle? I would NEVER allow a grandchild of mine to do that to her body.

After being a grandparent:
"I just don't understand why you tattooed 'Abducted by Aliens' across your forehead?" and
"You've pierced your WHAT?"

Ah, the words I've eaten - definitely not a tasty meal.

Best not to EVER say NEVER!


DH said...

Why are you up in the middle of the night writing such wise comments?

Lauralee said...

If I have $100 for every time I've said "never" I would be a rich woman today. Amazing how smart, and tolerant, we become when confronted with those situations head-on!

kelli said...

I like it! I said I would Never marry someone who I had to put through school. Afterwards I would say, I am glad he chose to go to school!

Mrs. Olsen said...

Single adults give the best parenting advice ever! (wink)

So true on your list.