Sylvia Jean Seegmilller...a Tribute

One of my dearest friends; I loved her.  She was so good, so pure, so REAL and honest.
While my heart is broken, I am so very happy for her!
Oh, dear Sylvia, can you ever know what an inspiration you were to so many, but mostly to MOI!

The Facebook message said Sylvia was in the hospital; I was surprised...I had been with her six days earlier and she had seemed fine, except she still had her uterine infection which she had had for several months.  She had been in the dining room, and I remember feeling sorry for her having to eat the macaroni on her plate; it gagged me to look at it, and I felt a sense of sorrow for her having to eat such incredibly disgusting looking food.  But, as always, she was positive and pleasant.  We returned to her room, where we had had a long, good visit.

So, to hear she was in the hospital just one week later was unnerving.  RAH and I drove to the hospital to say hello....

this was on a Friday late afternoon.

She was smiling, as always.  But, her jaw was hurting, so she didn't talk much.  Her three children and two spouses were there.  She had complained of having chest pains....The family was concerned it was pneumonia, but an X-ray showed it wasn't pneumonia.  In fact, she would be leaving for home possibly the next day.

We talked; small talk, she was smiling, pleasant, happy.

24 hours later, a phone call came.  Only now, Sylvia was GONE!

I went a little crazy.  We were driving home from the airport with guests who were coming to stay for a week.  They must have thought I was nuts; I was going berserk.  I could not believe it...I had just seen her....How COULD SHE BE DEAD?

On Wednesday, when the funeral started, I cried; my body was shaking; I would miss her so very much.  And, then it hit me: "Loni, you are being so selfish!  This is not about YOU!  Sylvia is free; she can use her hands, she can run, she is with her mother, sister, and her beloved Frank....quit being so selfish and give thanks for the privilege of knowing her."  And, then, I quit sobbing, sat back and listened intently to all the marvelous tributes to this remarkable and inspiring woman.  No more tears; just JOY for Sylvia.  (There are still tears, but that's okay; I understand she is better off!)

On one of our Tuesday visits, on the way home from our mission.

So, how did this friendship all begin?

Eight years ago, Sylvia's family moved a couple of blocks away.  She had been in her wheelchair many years by then. We clicked immediately.  She was so gracious, beautiful, kind, funny, and non-complaining.  In those days, we had a group of women in the neighborhood who got together once a month to eat, laugh, gab.  Sylvia came to all of the luncheons.  Sometimes I would walk over to her home to get her, and we would go together; she in her wheelchair, me walking beside.  At most of the luncheons, I would feed her; she was so patient and uncomplaining when I would forget to get her water, or concentrate on my own eating for awhile...she never complained....just sat patiently.

She was so pleasant.  ALWAYS.  We chatted about this and that and I loved to be in her presence....I always walked away feeling so uplifted and inspired by her non-whineyness.

So, I began to make frequent visits to her home.

Sylvia in her lovely home with her grandson, Ryan.  I loved to visit when he was home; what a delightful child....he was so good to his grandmother and always so funny.  

I tried to go weekly, sometimes that didn't happen, but the visits were often.  If the weather was good, we would go on walks together.  Sometimes, RAH and I took her in her van to get a COKE, or to see the Christmas lights.  Mostly, we just stayed in her room and talked.....it was always pleasant.  And, she was always so appreciative of any little thing.

In China, I called her often and it was so great to stay connected, even though I was thousands of miles from home.

We had so much in common; yet were so different.

Sylvia told me about her life growing up as the daughter of a pharmacist.  She told me about her college years and she was very honest about it.  She met Frank and she told me about him, his job, his family.  She told me about her job as a congressman's office manager.  She told me about her sister and her sister's MS.  She opened up about learning she had MS and how it progressed to where she had to be in a wheelchair, but her husband had taken such good care of her.  I learned about the car accident that killed her husband, leaving her in a hospital where she was unable to attend Frank's funeral.  She was honest about what happened after Frank died and the hard feelings over property and will disputes.  It was a sorrow for her.  She tried to make it right, but there were hard feelings - not on her part, but on a sister-in-law's part.  Sylvia had done the noble thing, giving some property that she was not required to give; but because of her kindness/good heart, she gave up a valuable piece of property.  The receiver was still angry and bitter.  It made Sylvia sad, but she had held out the olive branch....she felt at peace.

Sylvia had a ZEST for living and life; she was always ready to go when her family went somewhere; she loved to watch her grandchildren at sports or church events.  She went on a cruise and had a marvelous time.  She enjoyed eating out with her family and would tell me about some of the restaurants they had tried.  She went shopping in Las Vegas with friends; she loved GOING and DOING!

Then, when the family could no longer give her the care and attention she needed, she went to a nursing home...it was the only time I ever saw her bitter or discouraged.  She cried; she was upset and a little angry with her children.  I took their side as I explained all the reasons this had to be.  She could no longer be left alone while everyone was gone to work/school.

The weekly visits continued; only now she was in the nursing home.  During our mission at the Employment Center, RAH and I went faithfully every Tuesday on our way home from our mission.  She was always so happy and appreciative to see us.  She was always grateful and expressed that.  She looked forward to Tuesdays and our visits.

Happy Birthday, Sylvia!  November 2013

Over the years, Sylvia was in a great deal of pain with trigeminal neuralgia.  Her family tried every remedy known to man.  No one could have tried harder than her wonderful son, Colby and his wife, Brenda.  They were champions and worked hard to help her find a cure for the constant pain.  Alas, it was with her to the end.  But, again, she didn't complain, just said, "It hurts today.  You talk, I'll listen."

Sometimes Sylvia didn't get up, but even when she wasn't feeling well, she was always so appreciative of our visits.  She always wanted news of the neighborhood and the ward.

She was so very proud of her three children, their spouses, and her five grandchildren.  About two years before she went into the nursing home, the family got a dog, Molly.  Sylvia loved that dog and the dog loved her...she would jump onto Sylvia's lap and just lay there for long periods of time.

For quite awhile, Sylvia was able to do indexing; she was so proud of her contributions to that, as well she should be.  It was not easy as she had to do hunt and peck; a slow, tedious process.  But, she did it anyway.

She loved to read church books, but even that was taken from her, as she could no longer hold a book.

There were days in my life when I would be angry, bitter, unhappy about something in my life.  On those days, I would go see Sylvia; she had such a calming effect on me.  And, I ALWAYS came away feeling better/grateful/uplifted.

So now, after two weeks, my heart is both heavy and full.

But, this I can say unequivocally; knowing Sylvia is one of the greatest blessings of my life.

Thank you, Heavenly Father, for that blessing.

This picture was taken EXACTLY one week before Sylvia died.  It was on a Saturday evening and RAH and I visited her; she was happy, cheerful, pleasant.  How could I know in one week she would be gone, and there would be a HUGE empty space in my heart?