not good enough,
didn't hit the target,
on and on and on.
I used to get a little impatient with him over his self-beratings. Everyone LOVED his talks, so I couldn't understand why he was so harsh on himself.
Yesterday, I spoke in church.
Afterwards and for about one or two weeks, I will totally beat myself up over the talk:
didn't really hit the mark - after all, it WAS Christmas!
not very good.
Holy cow, once again, I have totally turned into my father!
I don't want to beat myself up. I want to just stop thinking about it and move on, like Allen. He gives a talk, it's over.
I give a talk, and I think, "Why did I say that?" "Why didn't I say that?" Why did I choose that subject? Why didn't I give the other talk I prepared? Why, Why, Why?
On and on in my head.
It's like it's a genetic SICKNESS....
Oh, wait it is.