Letter #2 - From the Files of the Perfect Family's Christmas Letters

Well, it's definitely that time of year when we sit down and tell about our family:  I'll try to be brief as we have just had such an amazing year....

Our oldest son, Richard the thirteenth, recently got a job with Peabody, Peabody, Peabody, Peabody, and Peabody.  On only his 2nd day there, he was made executive vice-president of Executive VIce-Presidents.  (We do not feel that this- in any way - was brought about because he married the 3rd Mr. Peabody's daughter.)  He has his OWN EXECUTIVE WASH ROOM, his own parking place right by the building, and his own corner office.  My goodness; we ARE proud.

His lovely daughter, our oldest grandchild, Princess Tiara, just won the Toddlers in Tiara contest for southern California.  She twirled, danced, sang, played the violin, piano, showed a soccer video of her making her team's only point, and recited the Treaty of Versailles in French, Russian, and Hungarian.  We just couldn't be more proud.

His son, Richard the fourteenth, age 2, can recite the Pledge of Allegiance - frontwards and backwards - knows his colors, letters, timetables up to 11, and can sing the Gettysburg Address in both English and French.  He also takes violin, wrestling, piano, tuba, and scuba diving lessons. We are so proud.  My goodness, kids these days are just getting better and better; it's so hard to keep up with all they can do!  I get exhausted just being at their lovely, well-ordered, perfectly manicured home, which his lovely and well-adjusted wife, Elizabeth runs so efficiently.

Our 2nd son, David Alexander Mathew Mark-John - a senior in high school, received the highest score possible on his ACT and SAT tests.  He is getting scholarship offers from all over the globe.  Our mailman said that we will just have to get another bigger box to hold all his offers!  Now, isn't that funny?  But, David AMM-J, as we affectionately call him, has decided to go to Cambridge and pursue a doctorate; he sees no reason to associate with lowly Freshmen in any setting.  We feel such a sense of pride at his remarkable achievements, especially since he is only 15!

And, our youngest child and only daughter, Emma Sophia Isabella Clare Olivia - (as you recall, we just couldn't decide which name to pick; she seemed to fit ALL of them!) is a junior.  She is having quite a struggle balancing her head cheerleading duties with being forward on the basketball team, president of the Honor Society, President of the Junior Class, President of the Helping Others Who Are Not as Cool as We Are Society, all this while getting straight A's.  In addition to all that, she serves at the local food kitchen once a year, "To remind myself what I could have been, if it weren't for my good looks, personality, and charm."  Additionally she plays piano, soccer, runs track, plays the viola, flute, clarinet, and dances each Christmas in the Nutcracker.  My goodness, she's a busy one, that girl!

As for Richard the twelfth and myself, we are keeping very busy.  But, we decided to scale back on Christmas this year.  We are only putting up 25 trees in our 12000 square foot home, instead of the usual 30.  Richard the twelfth felt we should donate some money to charity, so that is what we are doing.  We are giving a huge donation to our local country club, of which he is the president.  Both our golf scores continue to be low and our income high.  We toured 28 countries and took 37 cruises this past year, but it's difficult for Richard the 12 to be away from his work so often, so we are cutting back next year.  My father and mother are still living with us in the 5000 square foot guest house with their own maid, butler, and chauffeur.  Isn't it great to help those we love when they need it ?  We feel so fortunate to be able to help them out; after all, they raised ME!  SO, now it's my turn to help them.

We do feel blessed at this time of year and want to wish you all a very Happy Holiday.

(I no longer say Merry Christmas, as my husband does not want to offend anyone in his business ventures, which are quite extensive.)

So, from all of us to all of you...
Richard 12
Me-Mary Katherine
Richard 13 and his lovely wife;
Elizabeth with their children:
Princess Tiara
Richard 14
David Alexander Mathew Mark-John
and finally
Emma Sophia Isabella Clare Olivia 

Happy Holidays to you all!